If sometimes disliking your partner is okay, then when do you know that you've crossed the line to true unhappiness? In other words, when should you leave?
You know you're unhappy, but you try to stick it out because you're comfortable. Or you realize you aren't being treated well but can't face the prospect of being alone or trying to start over again with someone new. Even more confusing is when a partnership is good, but you still have the nagging feeling that the relationship isn't for you.
Here are some questions to set you on the path toward making up your mind.
1. Are our problems based on what we're going through or who we are?
If you've been waiting for years, or even decades, for your partner to behave differently, and there always seems to be a life experience that prevents this change from happening, you may be deluding yourself.
2. How many things have I tried?
Before ending a serious relationship, it makes sense to speak up, have difficult conversations. If you love someone, don't sit quietly and hope things will get better on their own.
3. What if things are good except when we have fights?
We are all responsible for everything we say and do, even when we're upset. Even if the rest of the relationship feels okay, it might be time to leave if you dread disagreements because they always end with you feeling gutted.
4.Do I like the person I need to be to stay in this relationship?
If you feel you have to dim your shine, hide your interests, or suppress your opinions, this isn't the relationship for you. If you try to edit away who you truly are just to be the person your partner wants, you'll slowly lose those parts of yourself.
Ending relationships is painful, and you get no guarantees about what comes next. But staying when you need to go means staying in a prison, or quarantine, of your own making.
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