You can only avoid quarrels in close relationships by excluding honesty when communicating with your partner. Fear of conflict can cause you to shut out the issues that bother you, hide your genuine emotions, and limit yourself to the manifestations of your personality. However, such a pretense will create a more significant gulf between you and your partner. On the contrary, arguments based on non-violent communication will help both of you feel more comfortable and confident in the relationship, improve your mutual understanding, and strengthen your bond.
To take advantage of disagreements, find out how you behave in conflict. How you deal with quarrels depends on your character, upbringing, and habits. You may differ from your partner in your temper and the pace at which you process emotions. For example, you may want to discuss a problem as soon as it arises, while your partner needs to calm down, comprehend the situation, and formulate arguments. In this case, their distance amid a quarrel may mistakenly appear to you as indifference or a desire to punish you. Give your partner space and agree to continue when you are both ready, choosing the right moment and a quiet place in advance.
A conflict is resolved when:
• You and your partner have expressed your feelings and listened to each other.
• Each of you acknowledged your responsibility for the problem.
• You asked each other for forgiveness.
Ending arguments with an apology is a powerful tool for reconnecting and strengthening the bond with your partner. However, apologies are only effective if you formulate them and follow up with action. When apologizing, you must show your partner that you understand your fault. Then, you must demonstrate this by making appropriate behavior changes.
Nevertheless, there may be problems in your relationship that you and your partner cannot solve. Then you have a choice: leave the issue as a neutral zone and learn to live with it, or end the relationship.
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