🤬Don’t F@@king Say That Around The Kids😱

We’ve all dropped a few F-bombs around children unintentionally — or possibly intentionally — but when it comes to swearing, should we really be doing it in front of our kids?

Our class got the pleasure of speaking with Parenting Coach Sarah Rosensweet.  She said swearing around your children is really a personal choice.

“If you don’t mind your children swearing, go ahead and swear in front of them. If you don’t want them to, don’t swear in front of them. “  “I think the general perception is that swearing is potentially offensive for some people to hear, it can hurt people’s feelings and it can make people think ill of the swearer.”

However, she also added that when children are forbidden to do something, it makes them want to do it even more.

“Parents might decide that it’s important to them that their children not swear in public, or in front of the grandparents, but swearing at home is not a big deal. “ “Or swearing at people in anger is not OK, but they don’t mind a swear if you drop a hammer on your foot.”

In a seminar our class was able to attend we listened to parenting expert Maureen Dennis speak on the issue, she added that language itself is tricky for children because they have a lot to figure out when it comes to reading and writing.

“Swearing is often tied to strong emotions so it is something that interests kids, and they often mimic the actions, words and emotions that their parents display.” “I have a story for every one of my kids swearing as toddlers, not understanding at all what they were saying. Those moments are the ones to explain the word, the emotion and the appropriate use of it.”

She said as children get older, they understand there are things that grownups can do that kids can’t — swearing ends up being one of them.

“When my kids ask why they are not allowed to swear, they know it’s because it isn’t appropriate behavior for children, or ‘it’s bad,’ as my seven-year-old says,” Dennis explained. “Much like driving, drinking and many other grownup things, there are things that adults can do that kids cannot.”

The blog “Scary Mommy” is one that a lot of us in class follow and we reached out to Gina Gallois, the author of the blog to see what she had to say about the issue.

“My husband and I agree that, in our home, a sporting effort to avoid gratuitous cursing when children are within earshot is good enough. In our view, we can’t protect our children’s ears from every f**king impure syllable so we prefer to educate them and let them decide for themselves,” she also added that sometimes swearing is necessary.  Quaint little words like ‘fudge’ and ‘dog biscuits’ don’t do it for me”. “Swearing helps relieve pain.

Real emotions like anger, pain and fear need and deserve to be expressed honestly and fully. Children not only grasp this concept, they need to see real emotion and expression so they can learn how to deal with it.”

Cognitive scientist Benjamin Bergen said casually swearing around kids is fine.

“The use of fleeting expletives doesn’t have any impact at all on their well-being, on their socialization… as far as we can tell.”

He made it clear that there is a distinction between swearing and verbal abuse.

“Verbal abuse can come in all different varieties, and that can include swearing and slurs,” he continued. “We can track over time how kids who are exposed to abusive language show increases in anxiety, depression and troubles in school.”

Children need to understand the difference between swear words and slurs and how some words can hurt others.

“I told my kids that they are just words but that some people might not think you are a very nice little boy or girl if you say them and that they can hurt people’s feelings. “

If your child hears a slur, parents should be able to explain the meanings and history behind these words.

“Using those words is never OK.