Infatuation is an all-consuming feeling that quickly and intensely flourishes at the beginning of love. It can be positive or negative with features including:
anxiety
euphoria
nervousness
Emotional attachment is a positive, comforting feeling of bonding that develops gradually, with features including:
calmness
comfort
happiness
security
Love is a multifaceted concept, marked by a combination of infatuation, attachment, and cognitive changes, with features including:
heart pounding (physiological affects)
caregiving (behavioral affects)
euphoria and anxiety (mixed feelings)
enhanced attention toward, and memory of, beloved-related details (cognitive affects)
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), love evokes the following feelings:
deep fondness
happiness in the beloved’s presence
commitment to the other’s well-being
awareness of how words and actions affect the love object
Love comes in many forms:
sexual
platonic
parental
partnered
The APA describes attachment as originating in the bonds between babies and their caregivers. Attachment refers to how you relate to others. Your earliest bonds highly influence your relational style including:
what you expect from people
how you interpret relationships
how you behave in relationships
There are four attachment styles:
anxious avoidant attachment marked by a volley of panic and withdrawal)
Anxious attachment
disorganized attachment (marked by a frequently unpredictable and disruptive infant-parent relationship)
secure
Positive emotional attachment can develop into love. But negative attachments can both cause or be caused by mental health conditions.
Codependency-
involves putting others’ needs above your own to the point that you lose sight of what your needs are. There’s an element of control and what many refer to as the “need to feel needed.”
If the following signs apply to you, you may be in a codependent relationship:
can’t say no
lie for your loved one
apologize excessively
take the blame to avoid conflict
Anxiety-
If feeling anxious is just as strong a sentiment as other amorous emotions that come to mind while thinking of your entire relationship (or past relationships), you may be experiencing symptoms of an anxiety-based mental health condition.
Conditions involving anxiety and unhealthy attachments include:
attachment anxiety
anxious-avoidant attachment
separation anxiety
dependent personality disorder
Need for power and control-
If an extremely unhealthy attachment style — whether stemming from a relationship involving narcissism or manipulation- leaves no room for love, you cannot change it.
The following are signs of domestic violence:
exclusively controls finances
isolates you
exploits your insecurities
physically, verbally, or sexually abuses you
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