Simply having one conversation a day with another human boosts happiness and lowers stress levels. In-person is better than video or phone or text. Why is one conversation a day helpful and, indeed, important, for our well-being?
What happens when two of us humans start chatting is not exactly what we think. We focus on what we’re talking about—news, sports, weather, dogs, the meaning of life- but what is really going on is that our unconscious minds are exchanging information at an extraordinary rate.
The unconscious mind can process 11 million bits per second, whereas the conscious mind is creeping along at more like 40 bits per second.
While we agree that the weather is pleasant, or that the chances of the Red Sox winning the championship this year are modest, our unconscious minds are confirming that the other person is a friend, that we are sharing information about our emotional states, and that it is good to be alive today.
More than that, our unconscious minds are checking our trust levels, our relative status levels, our potential for deeper connection. We’re getting confirmation from the other person’s reaction that we are worth noting, ourselves, because we are present in the world and fulfilling some useful role in it.
How we move relative to each other, how close or distant we are, what we smell like—it’s all animal information that is important to our sense of belonging.
So, take care of yourself. Have a conversation a day, in person, with a friend, an acquaintance, or simply the barista in your favorite café. Your stress levels and happiness quotient will thank you. And maybe, just maybe, we can de-stress our world just a little bit, one convo at a time.
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