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😤Is It Normal Anger or Narcissistic Rage?🤬


Narcissistic rage is different from other forms of anger. It is disproportionate to the perceived slight; it’s as though the person has a hair-trigger response. It’s completely out of proportion to what provoked it and often takes the other person by surprise.


Below are the signs and symptoms to watch out for.


Outward Signs


  • Bouts of rage when not given the attention they feel deserve

  • Screaming and yelling

  • Angry or explosive outbursts

  • Intense anger

  • Sudden fits of anger

  • Becoming verbally or physically aggressive

  • Inability to control the rage

  • Intentionally trying to inflict pain (emotional or physical) on          others


If you’re confused about whether someone you know might have NPD, it’s helpful to learn more about this disorder.


Personality Traits

The criteria for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder require a pervasive and long-term pattern of certain personality traits, including:


  • Grandiosity

  • Need for power and control

  • Lacking empathy

  • A sense of entitlement

  • Being envious of others

  • Arrogance

  • Need for attention



Below are some other factors to consider:


  • Early childhood trauma, such as abuse or neglect and invalidation of the person's emotions, can cause them to bury their true self and hide internal injuries behind a false or alternate persona built on lies.

  • A highly sensitive temperament that is very reactive to feelings of shame can exacerbate rage responses.

  • Failure to develop critical emotion regulation skills can result in a childlike way of reacting to situations.

  • An unstable sense of self-esteem that makes them feel as though they are at risk of being "found out" can result in rage when triggered.

  • Facing a setback or disappointment that triggers shame and shatters one’s self-image can then trigger anger.

  • Being envious of someone else having something that they don’t have (i.e., material things, relationships, status) may prompt a rage response.

  • Memories of early experiences of shame can be triggered by current events leading to intense anger.

  • "Splitting" (also known as black or white thinking or all or nothing thinking) or viewing other people as good or bad (i.e., narcissists shift between idealizing someone and then degrading them; seeing someone as all good and then all bad) can explain the sudden nature of rage responses.

  • Having a sense of self that is split into two parts (true self and false self) can complicate a person's ability to manage emotional responses.

  • A fragmented sense of self that requires the adoration of other people (narcissistic supply) creates a fragile situation in which their entire sense of self is based on what other people think of them rather than a true internal self.


There are two different types of narcissistic rage: outward or explosive and inward or passive.


  • Explosive rage: The person hurls insults, screams and yells, and may even threaten other people or harm themselves.

  • Passive rage: The person retreats into a period of sulking and refuses to engage with you.


Unlike typical anger, narcissistic rage does not go through a series of stages. Psychiatrist Adam Blatner identified the following seven stages or levels of typical anger:


  1. Stress: Feelings of anger under the surface that are not consciously acknowledged or acted upon

  2. Anxiety: Anger starts to leak through with subtle signs

  3. Agitation: Outward signs of being displeased without any blame assigned

  4. Irritation: Showing more displeasure to get others to respond and change

  5. Frustration: Showing anger with an angry face or using harsh words

  6. Anger: Increasing how loudly you speak and being more expressive

  7. Rage: Losing one’s temper and flying into fits of aggression


What happens during narcissistic rage is more of a child-like response in which the person goes straight from feelings of stress to a full-blown outward or inward expression of rage.


Some refer to this as the narcissistic rage cycle. In this cycle, others don't live up to the person with narcissism's expectations, causing them to feel disappointment, then leading to anger which is followed by feelings of shame. This narcissistic rage cycle repeats, resulting in emotional dysfunction.


Examples-


Not Getting Their Way

Your boss might make an unreasonable request such as asking you to work long hours over the weekend on a project at the last minute. If you refuse this unreasonable requisition, they may lash out with narcissistic rage.


Not Getting Enough Attention

A friend might always direct the conversation back to talking about themselves, even in the case when someone has shared something important and listening would be more appropriate. They might even become jealous and sulk or lash out if everyone is giving attention to someone else’s problem and ignoring them.


Feel Like They Are Losing Control of People/Situation

Someone might lash out at you if they feel as though they have lost control of you or the situation. 


Reacting to Criticism

Narcissistic rage can result from even the most gentle of criticism because of the unstable sense of self- esteem


Getting Caught Doing Something

If you point out that someone is lying or cheating and they react by turning the tables and making you feel as though you are in the wrong or mistaken, that could be a sign of narcissistic rage. 

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