When it comes to your partnership, excessive pride might be present if your sense of self-satisfaction is accompanied by:
persistent disagreeableness
a tendency to respond to stress with negative emotions such as anger, irritability, or contempt
carelessness toward your commitment or responsibility to the other person
Narcissistic traits
toxic behaviors, whether or not you’re aware of them
These tendencies may come out in various behaviors, such as:
refusing or finding it hard to compromise
feeling constantly offended by the other person’s opinions
constantly finding fault in others when you compare them to yourself
evaluating some tasks as being beneath you and refusing to complete them
refusing to apologize even when you might realize it can solve the conflict
feeling as though you always know what’s best or that the other person’s wrong
Intimacy means something different for everyone, but it’s often built on bonds of:
trust
communication
compassion
emotional security
affection
If you don’t feel as though you can be vulnerable with your partner, intimacy may decline in many ways, both physically and emotionally.
This disconnect of intimacy can happen during prideful moments when you:
fail to admit your shortcomings
position yourself as superior to your partner
become defensive during arguments
assume you know what’s best for your partner without consulting them
don’t feel the need to communicate because you already “know” the answers
Intimacy is all about vulnerability, closeness, authenticity, and connection. Pride, on the other hand, serves the purpose of being on the defense and protecting oneself.
Understanding where your pride comes from can help you realize when and how it may be hurting your relationship.
These are five things you can start doing to prevent pride from ruining your bond:
1. Taking accountability
Accountability is acknowledging how your pride is affecting your relationship.
Accountability is all about practicing curiosity with an open mind. Having an open conversation with yourself about how some of your attitudes and behaviors may impact the relationship can help you pause and change directions when you realize pride may be getting in the way.
2. Seeing criticism as a way to improve
Pride can be a defense mechanism for low self-worth. Instead of taking criticism to heart use it to motivate you to become the ideal version of yourself.
This doesn’t mean you deserve to hear harsh or unfair comments. Instead, try to be open to the possibility that some of the things your partner is saying about your behavior may be a fact.
3. Reminding yourself how much someone means to you
Being prideful doesn’t mean you lack emotions.
By remembering that you care for someone and want to encourage intimacy and a lasting bond, you can focus on allowing your partner —and yourself — to be vulnerable.
4. Finding ways to express what you’re feeling
Pride can make you hold your tongue in the moment.
If you don’t feel able to express what you’re thinking at the time, journaling, writing a letter to your partner, or asking to come back to the conversation at another time can be other options.
The effort to express vulnerability and build connections is often just as important as the act.
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