All people have odd behaviors. Sometimes they are not weird at all to us but may appear odd to an outside observer. While many behaviors are just human, sometimes they can be due to anxiety. Some of the stereotypical traits of anxiety include nervousness, fear of speaking in public, or fear of being in crowds. But many forms of anxiety are not as obvious.
These 8 are some of the most common
1. Not answering the phone, or avoiding making calls. This is due to feelings of being caught, being put on the spot by parents or caregivers when there was no way out, or having had our privacy or boundaries violated.
2. Shutting down or being silent during group events or in social settings. Many forms of social anxiety can be the result of growing up in a chaotic environment, where our nervous system was constantly disrelated, or where we were constantly having to be ready to take care of someone else, or ready for a verbal altercation.
3. Being nervous or uncomfortable when someone sits too close to you. When we grew up in an environment in which our boundaries were violated, we have a heightened sense of awareness of other people, and our position within a crowd or in a room. Therefore, having a large personal bubble becomes essential to maintaining internal comfort.
4. Needing to sit in certain places or areas during restaurant visits or social events. They prefer to sit with their back to a wall, as opposed to a door or open space. Due to their constant state of hypervigilance, their nervous system keeps them "ready" for any perceived, even if illogical, threat.
5. Overeating or overdrinking. Trauma survivors develop ways of self-soothing, often in the form of either indulging in or avoiding food or substances.
6. Someone knocking on your door who is unexpected/uninvited. I recall telling my son when he was younger that there are two types of people: those who answer the door when they hear a knock, and those who hide and wait for the person to leave, as him and I sit in the closet waiting for the person to leave. Often this elevated sense of paranoia and anxiety is related to experiences as a child of being unable to escape.
7. Constantly apologizing, even for things that aren't your (or anyone's) fault. When we are constantly criticized, or consistently made to feel that everything is our fault, we develop a strong sense of shame. This manifests in a constant need to over-apologize, even when you have not done anything wrong. This is often a result of emotional abuse or neglect in childhood.
8.Not wanting to have people over to your house because you cannot control when they leave. This is often due to not being able to control your own safe space, such as growing up in a home in which boundaries were blurred and privacy was violated.
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