Here are 10 ways to help maintain a satisfying relationship:
Be friends with your partner. You definitely don’t need to be “besties,” but you do need to consider your partner a good friend in addition to a lover.
Develop a “couple” identity, but don’t let go of your own individual identity or eliminate engagement in hobbies or pastimes that your partner doesn’t choose to enjoy.
Focus on shared values, not just shared interests when you commit to your partner. Shared values are better for lasting relationships—not just liking the same music genres or sharing an interest in a particular hobby.
Be willing to try out new things that your partner is passionate about. You can’t know something isn’t your taste until you’ve given it a try.
Engage in open and honest conversations about sexual intimacy and practices with your partner. You can’t optimize your sexual activities unless you know what each of you wants and needs.
Expect and accept that there will be disagreements and conflict in the relationship over time but use the discussions and differing points of view as tools to move towards a shared understanding and resolution. Don’t use conflict as a tool to gain power over your partner or as a zero-sum game.
Celebrate every success your partner enjoys and offer support when they meet with failure. Don’t let yourself be threatened by their success and don’t blame or shame them when things go awry.
Respect your partner’s moods and their perspectives; don’t try to “guilt” your partner for not being exactly who you want them to be all the time.
Work together to get on the same page about your “feelings about your feelings.” While each of us has a way of approaching frustration, anger, disappointment, and so on, research shows that when you and your partner are in synch with how to best deal with feelings, you get along better.
Accept that you and your partner will change over time—and that your relationship will need to shift and flex to accommodate those changes. People are not static, and relationships need to be dynamic, as well.
No one can guarantee that a relationship will last a lifetime, but there are ways you can up the odds.
Relationships should be seen as entities worthy of tending—no relationship will thrive if the necessary support and care are not maintained.
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