Many relationships are doomed from the start. And the worst part is that in the beginning, those happy, full-of-hope couples weren’t just kidding themselves. They really did think they would make it, beat the odds, and live through the rest of their lives together smiling for the most part.
Why do so many of us not see it coming and then eventually give up, break up, separate, or divorce?
There are many explanations that couples have for why their relationships have failed. There’s the classic “We just drifted apart.” Wood drifts apart—people don’t.
Unresolved issues and communication problems cause distance between people in a relationship. When you say, “We just drifted apart,” what you really mean is: “We don’t love each other anymore,” or “We don’t have the same feelings for each other anymore.”
Or how about this one: “They turned out to be nuts.” Sorry and surprise. This reason for the demise of a relationship just doesn’t cut it either. We’re all weird and strange to some degree and there are very few saints and angels left in the world.
“We really don’t have much in common,” Hmmm ... then why is it that you even got together? And why is it that so many couples have different interests and yet are happy together?
Warning Signs of a Breakup
1. Toxic thoughts seep in. Most couples are simply unable to address their real problems because toxic thinking gets them so sidetracked that they can’t “see” the real problems or issues.
2. There is less wanting to share personal happenings. Happy couples miss each other and want to share personal experiences. In couples where a partner, or both, wants to end a relationship, the conversations have less "feel-good" meaning and when it occurs it is more about a sense of duty—or obligation.
3. Disconnecting and disappearing. When partners become silently frustrated, they become distant from one another. When a relationship is doomed, partners slowly start leading separate lives. This creates emotional and physical distance that is hard to close the gap on. They simply don’t like or value spending abundant time together anymore.
4. Frequent breakups and make-ups. This may not seem to fit in the "not so obvious" theme. But after going through breakups, couples tend to minimize or forget them after making up. But as you are heading in the wrong relationship direction to a dead-end, these hurtful temporary endings are signs that you're cruising down the Break Up Expressway.
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