The most common reason couples lose their passion for each other and stop being sexually intimate is when one partner becomes critical and aggressive, the other often becomes defensive and distant.
Partners that get stuck in this pattern in the first few years of marriage have more than an 80% chance of divorcing in the first four to five years.
A good sexual relationship is built on emotional intimacy and closeness. If you’re hoping to improve your physical relationship, you need to first work on your emotional connection. Focus on meeting your partner’s needs and communicating your own needs in a loving, respectful way.
Both partners need to talk about their feelings in terms of positive need, instead of what they do not need. This requires a mental transformation from what is wrong with one’s partner to what one’s partner can do that would work. The speaker is really saying, ‘Here’s what I feel, and what I need from you.’”
During the early phase of marriage, many couples barely come up for air due to the excitement of falling in love. Unfortunately, this blissful state doesn’t last forever. Holding hands, hugs, and tender touch are great ways to affirm your love for your partner. Physical affection sets the stage for sexual touch that is focused on pleasure.
Here are 10 tips to bring back the passion in your marriage:
1. Change your pattern of initiating sex
Maybe you are denying your partner or coming on too strong. Avoid criticizing each other and stop the “blame game.” Mix things up to end the power struggle.
2. Hold hands more often
Touching can release oxytocin causing a calming sensation. Studies show it’s also released during sexual orgasm. Physical affection reduces stress hormones – lowering daily levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
3. Allow tension to build
Our brains experience more pleasure when the anticipation of the reward goes on for some time before we receive it. So take your time during foreplay, share fantasies, change locations, and make sex more romantic.
4. Separate sexual intimacy from routine
Plan intimacy time and avoid talking about relationship problems and household chores in the bedroom. Sexual arousal plummets when we’re distracted and stressed.
5. Carve out time to spend with your partner
Try a variety of activities that bring you both pleasure. Have fun courting and practice flirting as a way to ignite sexual desire and intimacy.
6. Focus on affectionate touch
Offer to give your partner a back or shoulder rub. People associate foreplay with sexual intercourse, but affectionate touch is a powerful way to demonstrate and rekindle passion even if you are not a touchy-feely person.
7. Practice being more emotionally vulnerable during sex
Share your innermost wishes, fantasies, and desires with your partner. If you fear emotional intimacy, consider engaging in individual or couple’s counseling.
8. Maintain a sense of curiosity about sexual intimacy
Experiment with new ways to bring pleasure to each other. Look at sex as an opportunity to get to know your partner better over time.
9. Vary the kind of sex you have
Have gentle, loving-tender, intimate, and highly erotic sex. Break up the routine and try new things as sexual needs change.
10. Make sex a priority
Set the mood for intimacy before TV or work dulls your passion. A light meal along with your favorite music and wine can set the stage for great sex.
The good news is that allowing your partner to influence you can reignite the spark you once enjoyed.
Always Remember-
Friendship is the glue that can hold a marriage together.
Comments