Stop interrupting your partner and listen to understand – not to respond, you just might hear their heart!
Conversations between couples do not start out as arguments, but over time, it is those little annoying habits like interrupting your partner and not listening to understand when they are talking that can create major communication barriers.
In fact, one of the major reasons why so many couples grow distant is that they often interrupt each other while talking. Listening to respond and not understanding can quickly escalate a simple conversation and turn it into a major blow up.
You ever notice how every fairytale you read or watched as a child ended with a happy couple setting off into the sunset? Well, now that we are older, we have all realized why they ended there and we didn’t get to see what happened after.
They wanted to protect our innocent minds from the notion that even fairytale couples go through difficult patches and have to deal with bouts of anger and sensitive issues.
Many times, when we interrupt someone who is talking, we do not mean to be rude. Often, we do not agree with something that they say so we share our input immediately. But did you know that doing this in a relationship can make your partner feel unheard and disrespected.
Over time, if this behavior persists, it can elevate a minor argument between the two of you and create a rift that is difficult to overcome.
Eventually, these interruptions are no longer harmless but they end up becoming the way in which you are blocking your partner from sharing what they feel (or vice versa).
Regardless of whether it is a casual or heated conversation, it is important to make your partner feel heard and to let them express themselves fully before you respond and say anything. If you have reached the point where every conversation is turning into an argument with each one of you fighting to be heard, then the rest of this article will help you out.
Soft words will encourage a soft reaction. Most conversations continue in the same tone with which they start, and if you have the right reaction, they’ll end that way too. Stop interrupting your partner listen to your partner’s words. Even if they make you upset or you do not agree with what is being said, take a moment to breathe in, process what they have said, and most importantly, check your tone before responding.
The moment you start “going below the belt” using harsh words, sarcasm, sound defensive or confrontational, or sound too proud, the conversation will take a turn for the worst. Here are some examples of reactions that can change conflicts into relationship issues:
“Clearly, you don’t care about my opinion.”
“You can’t do anything right.”
“Why do you always do this?”
“Whatever, you never.“
These are just some of the most generic phrases that are likely to be tossed around in a conversation that is starting to get toxic. The goal here is to avoid saying anything you will regret later or that will damage your relationship. Change your tone and respond to your spouse in a positive note and begin with:
“I’m glad you decided to talk to me about it.”
“Thank you for being open and honest about everything.”
“We will work through this together.”
When dealing with the current issue, don’t bring up past conflicts stay focused on one issue at a time. The longer a heated argument goes on for, the more likely it is that you and your partner will end up hurting each other and using words that you cannot take back and that could permanently ruin your relationship.
Do not end an argument or a discussion without clearing the air completely. Some couples believe that by not saying anything, they’re maintaining a healthy relationship. But not being open means that they are bottling all that negativity within themselves, and it will come back in small bursts like a fight over a cup of coffee, and eventually explode into an argument that has become a raging thundercloud.
It’s true that as relationships mature, they mellow out, but if your romantic connection has turned into a negative one, then you need to pause. Identify the red flags and realize that perhaps you and your partner need professional help. If you truly love one another and want to be together, you might need couple’s counseling to find out when a playful fight over the Netflix account turned into angrily breaking the TV remote.
Don’t be afraid to be the first to apologize.
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