🧐Subtle Signs They Might Be Cheating🧐

It’s an all too common occurrence; you find out your partner has been unfaithful and you wonder how you didn’t see it coming. You ask yourself, “Were there warning signs? Did I just ignore them?”

Perhaps you simply didn’t know what to look for. If so, here are a few common, yet subtle signs that might indicate your partner is playing away…

1. They’ve done it before

Ok, so I can hear you all screaming, “why would you get together with someone if you knew they’d cheated before?!” And of course, in our rational minds, we all know it’s not the most sensible idea. Yet many of us have been there, convincing ourselves that it’ll be different this time, because our love is somehow unique and special.

Some of us even fall for people who are still in relationships, especially when they are unhappy and we are told, “It’s been over between us for a long time” and “I’m going to leave them for you.”

Whether your current partner cheated on someone before he/she met you, or whether your relationship with them started before their previous one had officially ended, it’s common to try and convince yourself that, “he/she is not a cheater,” “he/she only did it because their relationship was unhappy,” and, “it’ll be different with me because he/she loves me.”

The harsh reality, however, is that if they are prepared to cheat when the going gets tough in one relationship, you can almost guarantee the same is in the cards when your relationship hits rocky ground. And things almost always get rocky at some point.

It’s true that some people really can change, and shouldn’t forever be punished for a previous mistake; but before you get in too deep, ask yourself if this is a risk you are prepared to take. More importantly, perhaps, ask whether you are going to be able to trust this person enough to have a secure and stable relationship with them going forward.

2. They are secretive about their passwords

Of course, there is a time and a place where we all need a bit of personal privacy, but if you are in a secure, trusting relationship, with nothing to hide, then there really is no need to be secretive about your passwords. After all, trust goes both ways; if your partner is open with you and has no problem with you knowing their phone or Facebook passwords, then you’re unlikely to be suspicious enough to go snooping on them.

If, instead, they keep their passwords hidden at all costs, then a wall of distrust can form, and the temptation to pry can grow and grow. If your partner is very cagey about their phone, Facebook and computer passwords, you may want to ask yourself whether there is something they’d prefer you didn’t see.

There could be a genuine reason for it, so consider asking them about it in a non accusatory way. If they become defensive and turn it back on you with statements like, “They are private, why do you need to know them? Don’t you trust me?” or, “Do you have to know everything? Have you been trying to look at my phone?” then you may want to consider if there is more to it.

3. They’re always texting other people

Now obviously this isn’t a 100% guarantee that they’re being unfaithful, especially in this current age where most of us are glued to our mobile phones, but if your partner spends an excessive amount of time texting or messaging other people (especially if they’re also displaying sign number 2), then it may be a clue that they’re up to no good.

Regardless of whether they’re texting someone they shouldn’t, it’s important for a couple to spend quality time with each other. So if your partner is constantly texting when you’re together, why not suggest you both switch your phones off (or at least put them in another room) for a couple of hours each night. If they seem reluctant to do this, you may want to ask yourself why.

4. They get overly jealous

If your partner gets irrationally jealous, it may be an indicator that they are transferring their own sense of guilt on to you. This type of projection is  a classic way that cheaters try to cover up their own misdemeanors. By showing you how worried they are that you might run off with someone else, they try to convince you that they couldn’t possibly be capable of doing the same. Of course, everyone feels insecure from time to time, but if your partner is often paranoid and jealous without good reason, you may want to look at their other behaviors and see if there is more to it.

5. They go out a lot without you

There comes a time when most people in a relationship no longer feel the desire to go out partying with their single friends every weekend. Couples will spend most weekends together because they enjoy each other’s company – it’s a natural progression for most relationships.

While it’s important to have your own friends and to spend time apart, if you find your partner wants to spend a lot of time out socializing without you, it may be a sign that something is up – particularly if they’re coming home late, or if they go out with a mixed sex group of friends but don’t invite you.

If you’ve been in an established relationship for a while, and this is becoming a common behavior, explain to your partner that you enjoy spending time with them, and ask them in a non-judgmental way if there’s a reason you’re not being invited to these events. There could be a simple explanation, but if your partner becomes defensive and angry with you then you may want to ask yourself if something else is going on.

Some people may have no issue with any of the behaviors above, but others may find themselves feeling neglected, unhappy and distrustful, and without trust a relationship is very unlikely to survive in the long term.

So if you are concerned about any of what you see above, ask yourself whether staying in the relationship is worth the anguish, insecurity and doubt.

You may never know whether your partner cheats or not, but perhaps your suspicion alone is a strong enough sign that the relationship isn’t quite right?