After infidelity, big questions loom: Why did they cheat? Were there signs I missed? And perhaps most devastating of all: Did I bring this on myself?
We are always looking for cause and effect in human behavior, but the answers are seldom clear, especially regarding intimate relationships.
The factors listed below are not being offered as an excuse for infidelity; they are situations that can lead couples to develop a rift.
🦴Communication Problems.
Couples unable to communicate their thoughts, feelings, and needs to one another face a greater chance of an emotional disconnection that can leave both people feeling alone in the relationship. Loneliness in a monogamous relationship can be dangerous territory, particularly if the couple is not working on improving the situation and building better communication dynamics.
🦴Long-Standing Resentments
Over time, most relationships develop resentments or negative feelings due to circumstances that occur within the relationship. While some degree of resentment is considered “normal and expected,” these feelings can fester into destructive behaviors, and people justify infidelity if the resentment is
strong enough.
🦴Sexual Dysfunction or Lack of Intimacy
Couples who are not sexually compatible or lack intimacy can be at greater risk of infidelity due to unmet physical and emotional needs. Some couples get through sexual problems without infidelity. It largely depends on the specific dynamics of the relationship. If a couple is healthy in other ways, sexual dysfunction can be overcome with different types of connection and intimacy.
It is also important to recognize that some people may not be cut out for monogamy. If you or your partner struggles with long-term, monogamous relationships, it might be worth examining this to see if a conventional relationship is the best avenue to pursue. Talking about these factors early on can save a lot of pain or unexpected heartache down the road.
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